/I have an
English friend and we share lots of bad habits. Listening to harsh music
at very loud volume. Wearing band tee-shirts past the age of 30. Collecting
vinyl records no-one else would want to buy. Writing record reviews.
And playing vintage videogames. My friend took me to this Game On exhibit
@ the Barbicans - London, with all those 1970-1980s arcade machines
you could play for no money (yes!!) till exaustion. It was brilliant
but I came outta here with a headful of wonders.
/I wonder why I had to kick a 6-year-old out of the machine to play
Star Wars for half an hour (was it 'feel the force, Luke' 8-bitwan Kenobi
said?), while I waited 5 minutes to play Tony Hawk Pro Skateboarding
for 5 minutes and was handed the... The what? Now how do we call these...
10 buttons and triggers, two or three joysticks, bright colors, looks
like an alien scorpio. Anyway, I was handed the GameThingTM by an 18-
year-old and fuck you teenies I was much better at it than he was, not
being a youngster and all (and I’m sure you don't have to say
I picked up the only game I have at home, truth hurts sometimes).
/I wonder why I sticked so much longer in front of thin green/blue lines
drawing clumsy spaceships firing at clumsier invaders for no appearent
reason (ah yes: 'they want to invade our world', why would anyone want
to invade our thrashcan is another worthy thing to wonder about) than
I do now in front of 'realistic looking' (??!) multilayered multicouloured
multidimensional flying arsenals (press Caps+F5+rightctrl+f for this
extra special supercheapofire that turns your enemies into a mixture
of fudge, raw oysters and hot chocolate then forces others to eat it).
/I wonder why everything was 'laser' when I was a kid (and if it was
super-advanced-technology, then it was 'lazer') and everything is 'virtual'
nowadays. Virtual reality, my foot. I prefer laser-reality, Cause there's
probably some Gravitar arcade machine still working somewhere out there
(and there wasn't at Game On, curses). 'Virtual' laserly-sucks.
/I wonder why I really didn’t give a damn about first floor and
modern technology and stayed mostly in the first room, where the genuine
machines were (and the Tron was out of order, too bad).
/I wonder why the humming low boopboopboop of Asteroïd still means
something to my heart and I could recognize it before even seeing the
machine at Game On (and spending the next hour playing it) whereas 5.1
means to my heart as much as a pen to a lobster. I think I know why.
It's because the game was in my mind. Now that it's all there on the
shiny screen, 'emphasis on gameplay' 'new surround sound effects' 'enhanced
enemy AI' 'bright and different 3D panoramic vision' or whatever, it's
not in ME anymore. I don't feel more like an actor playing those RPG
games than I did playing Tempest. The game is a lot more difficult and
sure requires 2145712544 hours training before you learn to pick up
your first weapon, but it's all a bloody swindle. They SAY you're an
actor but the only thing you do is push the buttons again, not dream
or imagine anything cause it's all pre-imagined for you. Tempest didn't
pose as Art, Tempest didn't pretend to enhance your imagination. Tempest
(or Penguin, or Pac Man, or Defender, or Missile Command, or write your
favourite here ________ for god’s sake) was simple and fun and
that was it. Played it for half an hour and basta!, back reading. Or
maybe not, maybe I stayed there and played it all afternoon since I
loved that game. Can’t remember.